My Feelings Don't Matter and That's How It Should Be

One of the saddest things of my job is this phrase "I was thinking about getting an epidural but my doula said she wouldn't help me if I did." Or even, "I had an emergency cesarean birth and my doula didn't stay with us. She said she wasn't needed." 

The worst part about these phrases is that they are absolutely the polar opposite of what The Doula Girls stand's for and they are warping the general publics perception of a professional doula. 

Never in any of these circumstances was the doula pushing a baby out of her vagina. Never in any of these stories was the doula a medical professional. Never, in any of these stories should the doula have had any say in the matter whatsoever!

Things can come up very quickly during birth and  it is my responsibility, as your doula, to hold your hand and help you make decisions that help you feel empowered. That may be reminding you that you are strong. It may be helping you follow your birth plan as closely as circumstances allow. It may even be greeting you after you cesarean birth to discuss your feelings and help you feel not so alone. 

The point, is that my job is whatever you need my job to be and that is determined by you! Birth is such an amazing, powerful and down right crazy time in our lives and I'm here to be a strong, guiding force through the landscape that you decide. 

I hope that each of my clients knows that my feelings, as pertaining to your birth and parenting journey, don't matter and that's how it should be! 

Authored by: Samantha Moore