As a first time mom with a *perfect* baby, I thought I knew everything! This motherhood thing was a cinch and I was rocking it! I couldn't be more thrilled with how motherhood had fallen into my lap and changed my life for the absolute better.
Looking at my tiny baby, I was sure that I knew it all and that if everyone would just do what I did, their baby would be *perfect* too! When my son was 14 months old, we found out I was pregnant again. I was thrilled! I just knew that this baby would fall into our lives and we probably wouldn't even notice because I was the best mom out there and knew exactly what to do!
On December 28th my beautiful, chunky little girl was born screaming. Screaming, screaming and then screaming some more. I remember the nurses saying, after bringing her back from the nursery, that she basically cried the whole time but they wanted to give me some sleep so they took turns holding her.
Terror crept into my bones.
My son had been an angel in the hospital and the nurses ooh'd and ahh'd over his long eyelashes and beautiful skin. My daughter screamed.
We took her home and she continued to scream. My daughter screamed for the first six months of her life. Scratch that, she's 13 months old and she still screams for the majority of the day.
he is clingy, stubborn, forceful and opinionated. She will throw herself onto the floor and clench her teeth when she doesn't get her way. As I type this, she is whining (loudly) and grunting until I give her my ice water to sip to hearts content, but she doesn't want to actually hold the cup, because that's my job.
Colic was not something that I understood until it looked me in the face and screamed. Now you may be thinking "what is wrong with that child? Why does she scream so much. You're probably not a great mom and give into her every whim." Trust me, this is not the case. If you're wondering where she got these traits, you don't have to look much further than me, her own mother. She is practically perfect in every way but she was born into this world with opinions as big as Mount Everest and she will be damned if you don't listen.
Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely obsessed with this child! She is brilliant and the light of my life. I feel insanely blessed to raise her and teach her the ways of independent, strong willed women, but HOLY HELL the crying and screaming!
I was not expecting this when my second child was born. I was ready for the sweet, quiet and timid baby that proceeded her. After all, I knew everything! I was prepared for the worst! Until the worst was something I was not prepared for.
Every mother knows her baby and if this experience has taught me one thing, it's that I don't know anything. I can guess and I can try a million things but in the end, every baby is different, every family is different and it's not my place to judge or even have an opinion. I hope and pray every day that one day this screaming will turn into opinions that change the way people think and a voice that brings forth honesty and truth. But until then, I should probably go pick up my screaming baby.
