. Doulas support your choices: Doulas are there to give you and your partner 100% unbiased support. That means that if you want a natural childbirth, we help with that. If you choose to get an epidural along the way, we help support you in that choice too.
2. We work with your care provider: We want to make your birth team excellent which means we work with your care provider instead of against them. This is your birth and you deserve a cohesive team of professionals to help you have the best experience possible!
. We've been there: Professional doulas have been specially trained to understand birth and all its eccentricities. We are not medical professionals but we know whats "normal" for a laboring woman and can help put your mind at ease. We've seen a lot and we know a lot!
4. We support your partner too: We are great at supporting women through labor and birth (and planned cesareans!) but we also help support and ease the minds of your partner. Seeing someone you love in a situation that you don't fully understand can be really tough. It's a huge weight lifted to have someone there that knows the ins and outs of birth and can say "she's doing great and so you are you, why don't we try (xyz)".
5. Postpartum support: Women deserve to be treated like queens after they give birth! A postpartum doula can ensure that that happens. We care for women during the postpartum period (the time immediately after giving birth up to 3 months). We are an outlet for mom to process her birth experience and fully come to terms with the choices that she made. We will clean, cook and cry with you and even fold laundry if you need it!
Just like you wouldn't run a marathon without support, don't go into your birth experience without being prepared! Hire a doula to help you feel empowered and prepared for your birth. Your choices, your birth, our support!
Pregnant in the Kansas City area? Contact us today at thedoulagirls@gmail.com or visit us at thedoulagirls.com.
Valentines Day with a Newborn
My daughter was born December 28th. I wasn't thrilled about having another winter baby (my first was a february baby!) but babies come when they come and that's that. Come Valentines day I was beyond ready to get out of the house and feel like a real person again! The only problem was that I was nursing a colicky baby and I didn't really feel comfortable leaving her with a sitter yet.
So, like any stir crazy new mom I made a reservation! It wasn't the nicest restaurant but it wasn't Pizza Hut either so I was thrilled! I showered (a huge feat!) and put on makeup and even wore my best jeans! Tonight would be a night to remember!
We typed into the GPS the address to the restaurant and when we got there, realized there was absolutely zero parking near it. So we drove a distance away, fed the meter and grabbed the baby. If you've ever been to Iowa in February, you know what kind of sick joke the wind is. I swear I was pummeled by the wind and by the time we realized we were completely lost, my hearing was compromised and my hands were cracked and bleeding. But I was optimistic! We stopped in a little shop and asked directions. The restaurant was this cool loft style building and I was really feeling the vibe. I felt 24 and vibrant instead of the exhausted mom that I'd embodied the hours before.
Upon giving our name for our reservation, we were told that they didn't have a reservation under my name. I honestly almost started to cry. I asked them to please check again and ask around while we sat at the bar (baby car seat in hands). They did and we stared at the menu of delicious food that we may not be able to eat. Bad news. No reservation. They offered the shallow bar to us (but only appetizers ugh!) but we weren't having it. My husband suggested we try Olive Garden because that restaurant would surely be available on Valentines Day.
We drove there, me a little heartbroken but still fairly optimistic. After all, the toddler was with a sitter and the night was young! We got to Olive Garden and a sea of cars greeted us. Every teen boy and his first girlfriend had decided that Olive Garden was the go to place for their Valentines dinner. Still optimistic we parked (ridiculously far away. Remember the wind?!) and ran into the restaurant.
The. line. of. people.
Out the door.
45 minute wait.
UGH!!!!
So we waited. Our daughter cried and I felt like crying too. This was not how my night of romance and fun was supposed to work out!!
Finally I gave up the dream, much to the relief of my exhausted and annoyed husband, and we got out of there.
The only place in a city of 80,000 people that had a table available was Old Chicago Pizza. They were nice, I was devastated and we had pizza for Valentines Day. Remember how I was thrilled about not having to go to Pizza Hut? That really bit me in the butt.
Sometimes life doesn't work out the way we want it to and during that postpartum period, that can be a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully we have many Valentines Day's to come and now we plan ahead and realize, we don't have to go out ON Valentines day! The Monday after works great too!
How to NOT eat all the cupcakes
I know I've said it before but I'll say it again, if my children were named after my cravings they would both be named old fashioned donut. There's something super tough about pregnancy and it's called cravings. Some people crave more eccentric snacks like mayonnaise pickles or beef jerky dipped in hot sauce. Some people, myself included, crave sugar. Sugar on sugar on sugar. I wanted to eat cupcakes covered in sugar cereal with hot chocolate on the side... for. every. meal.
Obviously this is not a good decision and these cravings should not be indulged in for every meal but, try to tell that to a pregnant woman. Its tough! Here's my tried and true ways to combat these sugar cravings during your pregnancy and beyond!
1. Take a nap: If you can, close your eyes for 15 minutes. If you're at work, take your lunch break to relax, put up your feet and take a little snooze. This will help give you the rush of energy you are looking for and keep you away from the snacks you crave.
2. Lemon water: There's something about the lemony goodness of lemon water that shocks the senses and brings you back to a healthy state of mind. A water bottle infuser is a great place to start.
3. Meditation: If you don't have time for a nap, take 5 minutes and refocus on your day. Try to stay present during this time and relax. In my experience, when we are tensed and stressed we tend to have more cravings.
4. Eat a green smoothie: I LOVE green smoothies and have found that the frozen fruit and peanut butter that I like to put in them can really help with my sugar cravings.
5. Indulge: When all else fails, indulge! Just remember to do so in small amounts and don't eat 12 cupcakes in one sitting. And if you do eat 12 cupcakes in one sitting?... Well, we've all been there!
The never ending colic curse
As a first time mom with a *perfect* baby, I thought I knew everything! This motherhood thing was a cinch and I was rocking it! I couldn't be more thrilled with how motherhood had fallen into my lap and changed my life for the absolute better.
Looking at my tiny baby, I was sure that I knew it all and that if everyone would just do what I did, their baby would be *perfect* too! When my son was 14 months old, we found out I was pregnant again. I was thrilled! I just knew that this baby would fall into our lives and we probably wouldn't even notice because I was the best mom out there and knew exactly what to do!
On December 28th my beautiful, chunky little girl was born screaming. Screaming, screaming and then screaming some more. I remember the nurses saying, after bringing her back from the nursery, that she basically cried the whole time but they wanted to give me some sleep so they took turns holding her.
Terror crept into my bones.
My son had been an angel in the hospital and the nurses ooh'd and ahh'd over his long eyelashes and beautiful skin. My daughter screamed.
We took her home and she continued to scream. My daughter screamed for the first six months of her life. Scratch that, she's 13 months old and she still screams for the majority of the day.
he is clingy, stubborn, forceful and opinionated. She will throw herself onto the floor and clench her teeth when she doesn't get her way. As I type this, she is whining (loudly) and grunting until I give her my ice water to sip to hearts content, but she doesn't want to actually hold the cup, because that's my job.
Colic was not something that I understood until it looked me in the face and screamed. Now you may be thinking "what is wrong with that child? Why does she scream so much. You're probably not a great mom and give into her every whim." Trust me, this is not the case. If you're wondering where she got these traits, you don't have to look much further than me, her own mother. She is practically perfect in every way but she was born into this world with opinions as big as Mount Everest and she will be damned if you don't listen.
Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely obsessed with this child! She is brilliant and the light of my life. I feel insanely blessed to raise her and teach her the ways of independent, strong willed women, but HOLY HELL the crying and screaming!
I was not expecting this when my second child was born. I was ready for the sweet, quiet and timid baby that proceeded her. After all, I knew everything! I was prepared for the worst! Until the worst was something I was not prepared for.
Every mother knows her baby and if this experience has taught me one thing, it's that I don't know anything. I can guess and I can try a million things but in the end, every baby is different, every family is different and it's not my place to judge or even have an opinion. I hope and pray every day that one day this screaming will turn into opinions that change the way people think and a voice that brings forth honesty and truth. But until then, I should probably go pick up my screaming baby.
Birth Story Saturday: 9 lbs and a failed epidural
Born on July 31, 2013 at 3:10 am
9 pounds 1 ounce, 21inches long
Tuesday July 30, I went in for my routine 39 week appointment. I had been having some real contractions off and on for a few days prior and I was excited to see if I had progressed at all. I was measuring 3cm and 70%. Progress! At the appointment we had to schedule an induction date as a back up plan in case Olive didn't come on her own. My Dr. wouldn't let me go past 41 weeks which fell on August 12, so that's when we scheduled it. We were both praying that she would come before then. After my experience with being induced with Remington, I was determined to go into labor on my own.
Before we left I asked my Dr. to sweep my membranes. He said it would only help if Olive was ready to be born, otherwise I'd maybe contract a little then stop completely. He told me to call if my contractions where 10 or less minutes apart or if my water broke.
We went on with our day as normal, feeling anxious and excited that she could come at anytime. That evening we went for a family walk and I walked with one foot in the gutter and one on the curb. (Apparently it was an old wives tale to help induce labor) I definitely felt some strong contractions. After dinner and getting Remington to bed I spent the next hour or so bouncing up and down on my yoga ball. I stood up to go use the bathroom and I felt another contraction. For the next hour and half I was having contractions 7-10 min apart. They were getting progressively stronger so we decided to call my Dr. He told us to head over to L/D and that he would meet us there.
I couldn't believe this was actually happening! David packed our bags in the car and we were off to the hospital. The ride there was a blur, we were so excited. It was 10:50pm when we arrived.
We checked in at the L/D desk and were lead into an exam room. They had me change into a gown and hooked up to the monitors. Sure enough my contractions were consistent.
Dr. came in shortly after to check me. I was still only dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced.
He gave me the options to continue laboring at home and come back later or stay and have my water broken. I was nervous about going home because my labor progressed so fast with Remington. What if I didn't make it back to the hospital in time? I was also nervous about having my water broken. Dr. knew that I really wanted to have as natural and intervention-free birth as possible. I didn't feel pressured into either option but I kept thinking "maybe this isn't really it? maybe she isn't ready?" We said a quick prayer and felt that it was best if we stayed.
I still couldn't believe this was all happening. It seemed so surreal.
We were moved into the delivery room, the room where I would soon meet my sweet Olive. My waters were ruptured and I continued to have contractions. At this point they weren't very painful but they were certainly uncomfortable.
Around midnight the contractions started to really pick up. Each one longer and more intense then the last. I spent a lot of time on my yoga ball rocking my hips back and forth and breathing through each one. I felt relaxed and in control. I started counting my breaths to help keep my mind off the pain.The contractions were lasting 10 deep breaths in and out. I knew by breath 5 I was past the worst part.
They started lasting longer...15 breaths and then 21 breaths long. They came over and over in waves. I got up to use the bathroom and labored in there for a while. It was then that I started to break down. I felt myself begin to lose control of my breathing. I cried out in pain. David never left my side speaking constant encouraging affirmations. He helped me get back on track.
I moved to the bed and labored on my knees with my body leaned over the back of the bed. My breathing out turned into low humming groans. The contractions continued to last 21 breaths long but they were getting closer and closer together. I felt like I couldn't rest in between. I couldn't get comfortable on the bed and requested to get in the jacuzzi tub. It was 1:30am.
While the nurse prepared the tub I felt myself loosing control again. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't handle the pain. I broke down and decided that I wanted the epidural.
The anesthesiologist was an hour out. I didn't think I could make it that long. I got back on the yoga ball and tried to relax. My breathing turned into lots of yelling, some swear words and a lot of tears.
Finally after what seemed like forever the anesthesiologist walked in all. I was annoyed at how jolly he was this early in the morning. I also remember his body oder smelled so bad that I wanted to barf. I asked him to promise me that it would work this time.
He seemed pretty confident in his abilities.
The contractions I experienced while getting the epidural where hands down the most intense of the entire delivery. (probably because you're forced to hold still) My body began to tremble. I started to feel Olive move down. They laid me on my back so the drugs could disperse. I thought I was going to die.
"You should start to feel some relief any minute now." the anesthesiologist stated.
"ITSNOTWORKING" I yelled back at him.
And then there it was... that all too familiar almighty rectal pressure...like I was about to have the biggest bowel movement of my life.
"She's coming, I need to push" I cried to the nurse.
The anesthesiologist started to fidget with the drug disperser thing. But it was too late.
I started having flash backs to Remington's birth. I knew the epidural wasn't going to work again.
I felt angry and terrified yet strangely calm and confident in my ability to finish out the birth and control my pain.
I really didn't have any other choice...
They called my Dr. and I started to push. It was 3:00am.
I laid on my right side with my hands pushing against the bed rail. David held my left foot against his chest. Pushing was the most satisfying part of the birth experience. I felt so productive working with my body and I loved that I could feel her move down, making progress with each contraction.
Dr. rushed in, "Did I make it?" (He said it was the fastest he's ever driven to the hospital.)
In seconds the bed was broken down and it was go time.
I pushed more 3 times before I felt her head start to crown.
David said I was yelling "RING OF FIRE, RING OF FIRE!" over and over again which gave everyone in the room a good chuckle.
Another push and her head was out, and then her body.
The pain instantly subsided and my perfect baby girl was in my arms.
Oh sweet relief!
She cried only for a minute and looked right up into my eyes. I was so overcome with emotion. I can't even put into words everything I felt.
I could not believe I did it.
Within minutes we began breastfeeding. She latched on like a pro.
I finished delivering and got stitched up. (Only 4 stitches this time woo!) I was able to keep her with me for 2 hours before they washed and weighed her.
I about died when I saw that she was over 9lbs.
Later that morning David brought Remington up. I missed him so much! It was my first night away from him. It was such a sweet moment when he saw Olive for the first time.
I never thought I could be this happy
***
Dr. is still stumped on why my body rejects the epidural. He thinks it has something to do with my spinal anatomy?
I guess the only thing I can count on for future deliveries is that my labors will continue to be short and that I need to stop paying for the stupid drugs that don't work for me...
I know that it's possible to give birth sans medication without dying (even though it feels like it for a short time) because I have DONEit, TWICE! (I do have to add that Olive's birth was a lot easier than Remington's probably because I knew what to expect and I went in prepared with pain management tools.)
I'll do it 100 times more because bringing a child into the world is the most amazing thing I have ever done and nothing beats holding that sweet little baby in your arms for the first time.
