Parent's all over the world are culprits of the biggest lie on the face of the planet and I’m one of them! But we have to do better! What is this lie, you may be asking?
It’s that when things stay the same, we are happier.
Now we KNOW that this is not true! We’ve learned that from years past (hello 2004), but we hold onto that lie like it’s a comfort blanket. Here’s what I mean:
Talk to any parent old or new and they will probably tell you the same thing about having a baby. Your life is about to change.
-you won’t sleep
-you won’t know what to do to comfort them
-you’re never going to see your friends again
-You’re marriage will be changed
-you’ll never have sex again
-you’re body will never be the same
Why? Why do we do this? Why do we steal new parents joy?
What makes us feel like vomiting this wisdom on an unsuspecting pregnant couple is going to make their experience any better? Maybe we think that everyone “needs to know”. Maybe we think that by having this information they will be “better off”. In reality what we are saying is “I wish nothing in my life had changed and I regret having kids.” This is a huge lie for the great majority of parents. We would NEVER wish our children away! Ya, maybe we wish we had a night alone with our partner but that’s easily remedied with a babysitter and priorities.
Here’s the thing, it’s human nature to want to connect with people about things that matter in our lives and for most of us, our kids are a huge part of our world! We want people to be happy with us and commiserate with us and parents go through both of those and many more emotions every 2.4 seconds.
Our world has fallen into a pit of negativity surrounding our families, partners, jobs, politics, even the weather! I’m not saying don’t be realistic (I would be bummed if it rained on my day on the lake too) but lets hold positivity a little closer to us and release so much of this negativity.
New parents; what can you do when people bring the negativity to you?
Ignore them. It’s going to happen because not everyone in the world is going to read this blog. Do your best to ignore the negative comments and remember that growth only comes with change. Joy only comes with growth and having a baby will catapult you into a world of both! True, you won’t be the same person you were a year ago but you will be so much better as you learn to love, care for and embrace parenthood in all its ups and downs. There is nothing that takes the place of holding and loving your baby and creating a family full of love.
You can do this! You’re experience won’t be other people’s experience especially when you choose joy!